Wednesday, September 25, 2013

Diagnosed: High Style Esteem

After months of hiatus, much of which I spent pretending to work and visiting several brain shrinks, I came to find the reason to my shyness. I hadn't lost my voice, it's still here. I hadn't lost something to write about, I'm still complaining. But I did however, lose the HSE I was suffering from all of 2012. For those of you not in a medical profession, I was suffering from High style esteem. Basically I thought I was like bomb dot com until I noticed how realz high I rated my self on the style-dar. Like why would Karl's intern's assistant be thinking of me when he sketched this collection? And why would Phoebe Philo care how I hold her creations? Or in worst cases, (this is when I was suffering from Low Weight Esteem) try to fit my entire body into a tote.   It's time we discuss and re-asses the idea of any style-esteem...if only I knew where to start. Well, let's start with evidence. HSE ends when you realized you popped the arm-button off your Skaist Taylor jumpsuit from eating a gelato for an entire week (see image). Yeah, like how cute are you walking all around a southern italian town in cherry pop red playsuit from Katia, but um how un-cute to be the fat kid in it. I might have been pastry shop hopping on this street. Shhh. 

Jumpsuit  - bag 

Wednesday, July 31, 2013

Matchy - Matchy, When Food Inspires

It happened during Carnivale (a festive season that occurs before lent in south american countries, where you get school off, dress up in costumes, and celebrate life).  At the age of five, I went through a phase where I only ate foods in or near the color family of my clothing. It just so happened that I relapsed this summer when I ordered cotton candy gelato. A flavor similar to the turquoise adorned sandals squeezing my fat feet together. From complete satisfaction of devouring the pretty aqua sugar-based meal, I continued to try this for a couple of weeks, and by weeks I mean twelve hours because it did NOT work. First of all, I ran out of red ensembles to match the pastas I kept wanting to order in Italia. I'm thinking it might come in handy for fall when my relationship with Merlot-blends get serious...and the spilling slash accidents of over-self serving won't damage because, oh wait, you CANT stay with red wine if you are wearing red wine hues. But on the other hand you can pretty much lose all nutritious value to your diet, especially on a neon color blocking day. 

Cotton candy gelato, thanks to "Il Molo" in Gaeta, Italia

Friday, May 31, 2013

Fat Kids in Paris - Breakfast

Who ever thought fashion bloggers don't eat must not have met LA and I. Well mostly, must not have met me at all because, well, I have yet to master hiding the evident cookie rolls pouring over my Kenzo cinched waistline. Like a great addict, I tend to only friend those I can enjoy a proper meals with. Nothing irritates me more than the weirdo that invites you to dinner and really meant drinks. Like that was cool in college, but for cereal, mid twenties I need ma cereal. It's like my old trainer used to say, "once a fat kid, always a fat kid."
A fat kid day in Parigi usually starts with a walk to Cafe de Flore. Sometimes I'll skip the bread, and by sometimes I mean never. And sometimes I get a cafe a lait. And Sometimes I get a half cooked egg. And sometimes my terrible French makes LA laugh so hard she needs a bloody mary at 11am. All because I accidentally ordered a half a dozen half cooked eggs. It turns out finger-pointing to order is rarely effective. Damn you egg dozen on display. 

Monday, March 11, 2013

Spring off Leather

 I'm sick and tired of being told that leather is in for spring, and to fear not in quantity, because layering leather is mega-in. Well holy Ken Downing, who's seasonal tips I've greatly appreciated inside the NM doors, is really pushing it so I thought what the heck. One leather piece on my body wont hurt. Were in the big heart of Texas so I think I will spear the pits some embarrassment and avoid the easter toned bomber jacket and cream shift dress and opt for a leather garment that wont alter my body temperature. 

For those of ou that qualify belts under the accessories department, get the F out. Belts happen to cinch the most important part of my body, so under garment they must stay.

image per LA

Friday, March 1, 2013

Caught in a High Contrast

In my defense, knees are the most likely of places to retain liquid and by liquid I mean the excuse I'll spare you of as to why Michael's Cookie Jar products have me sleep walking to the kitchen since Christmas break. Can anyone break their Christmas break settled eating tendencies? If anything for the sake of Spring break in the near time future, I have no idea how I will break mine. And for that, I'm highly grateful for this Spring's high contrast black and white trend. Just like water, black flushes fat...especially when it is the tone of a wide waisted skirt that tends to conceal one's cookie handles (A.K.A. love handles, muffin tops, call it what you wanna call it). Diet unsolved, wardrobe resolved: there is nothing easier than exploring deepest darkest in your wardrobe and pairing it with your brightest and whitest.

because there's always more to the story...

Friday, February 22, 2013

London Fashion Week: Trench Kisses

Burberry Prorsum Fall 2013 Collection, French Kisses, has taken the label's signature piece, the trench, and adorned it with metallic accents and textures. 
How is it that they can string us along for years so that we fall in love w the classic trench, over and over again. Thanks for pulling us into the trenches.

Wednesday, February 20, 2013


Pardon the absence and dwindling of love and care. I've been a little busy trying to narrow down Chris Martin's dance moves. It looks super easy but it's not. I mean, jogging in place with sporadical inserts of moon walking to the beat is not that easy, especially when you are in the middle of conceiving a baby. Welcome to the world Papaya, a British slash Barbadian baby musically-bred on stage last summer on Coldplay's Mylo Xyloto tour. Baby Papaya (also known as the single Princess of China) is rumored to have been conceived just by the scratch of Riri's oval shaped nail on Chris' cheek. Watch and agree...

Thus the power of finenails and eye makeup. A great love affair in the form of performance, where they sing about a very moment we all wish we could experience once in a lifetime. This might make you think twice about your nail shape at your next mani. I might just grow and round mine out like bad girl Ri.

Thursday, February 14, 2013

NYFW: Alice+Olivia Fall 2013

Playful and extravagant are nothing rare for quirky brand Alice + Olivia to portray, while Fall 2013 Fantasy Street Style was nothing and everything but. Sophisticated and whimsy, A+) FW13 is high fashion street style transformed into a wearable everyday wardrobe. Stunning statement separates that don't look out of place when taken out of fashion week or a style blog. These sophisticated pieces are a mature version of street style fashion. The collection is composed of unexpected pieces joined to create pure, but easy genius. Easy as is attainable, because it is a collection that entices one to take that risk without looking like a freak because it's not fashion week. It's edgy and nothing short of major spark. Perfect for what I see is an A+O girl, a career driven individual that favors an edgy and youthful twist on high fashion. Demonstrated through the layering and mixing of textures and prints, Fall 2013 merges feminine silhouettes in lace or brocade florals, patterned knits, simple suiting and embellished separates with tougher elements like burn-out velvet, metallic distressed denim, plaids, chunky furs and laser-cut leather.
Stacy nails it in this collection with the big three must have's for fall:  1. Topic of dinner accessories, you know like the tyoe to get you out of the awkward weather convo. "Omg is tyour purse a zebra? that is adorable!" yes, yes it is, and i totally fit so many things in it." (blah blah probably a lie but you wear it for seasons to come because it's just that precious).  2. The non weather related layering piece: a - line vest, is the new fur vest.   3. The ball skirt. This is that skirt most fashion lovers would impulse purchase then have to return because "I just wish I had something to wear it to," but this season, designers show us that ball skirts aren't just for balls. Gala affair or not, this season A+O treats us with a brocade floral evening skirt sported with a simple tee. 

Alice + Olivia Fall 2013.
Alice+Olivia Fall 2013.

“In a moment when street style influences fashion more than ever, I wanted to create a fantasy inspiration for how the alice + olivia girl dresses every day."
Stacey Bendet

Wednesday, January 30, 2013


Is anyone else on a diet? Are you so hungry that fitting into an old pair of size 26 jeans has lost its thrill?  My stomach is beginning to eat itself. It is now controling my brain (not that it ever wasn't) so that my dreams are one long cartoon marathon of The Ninja Turtles. It isn't the normal Ninja Turtles episode, but rather a repeat of Rafael holding a slice of pizza with cheese so heavy that it is about to slip off. Just as the off white goo almost hits the floor, I wake up wanting pizza. But not just any pizza, a rather decadent and greasy monstrosity. Like the one LA and I order in the cozy Parisian bar after we've been so lost in translation we've forgotten to eat. 

Westin Paris Vendome bar pizza.
You'd think this post was about the perfect manicure, how to pull off a white blazer, or LA's Bvlgari beauty staring us in the face, but it's not. It's about pizza. I hope you get hungry. I hope you feel my pain.

Wednesday, January 16, 2013

F**k Yeah, A Book

My crush on them is f***ing ridiculous. Now I say "them" but when I was an avid stocker slash reader of the silly little crispy blog, i assumed it was one voice. One handsome stalion that would some day respond to my fan mails and we'd marry happily ever after to make five to seven strong eyebrowed children. My crush is f***ing ridiculous, I dropped a click or three on amazon the second I came back to them, or they came back to me. My heart was broken for a year or so. It was as if they'd hit it and quit it. Through great love affair they stopped blogging on me. It was stupid how crispy their rhymes were. It was stupid how much I crush them. I thought they'd disappeared since that Nov 2011 post. But it was only to drop something big on me, something to hold me over the nights I question deleting the essence of cinched. A place to bury my nose when it's feeling wide or shiny, and like it doesn't belong here or there, or anywhere #hashbag is required. This place has made my kindle softer than it's Smythson dress, my coffee table bigger than it's Minotti, and my mouth melt the way Bebel's does on a hungry Milanese night.  Fuck Yeah Menswear, the book.
All this time they were working on a mixed tape, now sold at stores

Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Psssst....Hey Mommies...

(Or mommy wanna be's, like me)
Two is not enough, three is almost perfect, and four they almost won't all turn against one. Kids. Yeah like babies. Pure, small monsters composed of your best, worst, and most embarrassing essence, running around showing the world who you really are. I grew up with two brothers, and being left out of every cool activity, achem super soakers and Nerf guns, I always wished for a sister and I always said I need four. Four kidos so no one has to grow up like me, wah wah. As I lay in bed with one leg asleep because one hundred and fourteen pounds is too scared to sleep downstairs (fyi: St. Bernards make terrible watch dogs) have come to the conclusion that perhaps four is too many small heads to keep up with. Perhaps in the near future and by near I mean far, I will start with three and count the St. Bernard as the fourth. Because wouldn't mornings be extra delightful slash insane if you got to dress four little rascals as bellow?  Even if the precious hand crocheted dress might be covered in gelato within 5 minutes of you dressing her/ them? Lucky for you current mommies: ODLR is having a secret Pre-sale today before open to public tomorrow...use the code VIP2013.

Oscar de la Renta Children's wear:
 baby boys coat  -  hand crocheted cashmere dress  -  light pink fitted coat and hat
  navy leather mocassins  -  plaid romper  -  sabrina velvet ballets

Until my time comes, I shall compose and craft collages of Oscar de la Renta Children's wear ensembles, just so I'm prepared...and keep wondering what it would be like to have Elmo as a snooze button...

The secret pre-sale code is VIP2013, and it gives shoppers 40% off all childrenswear for 24 hours!

Thursday, January 10, 2013

Just as everything should be...

Everything made with love, ends with love.  Just as my half burnt spinach croquettes dried out our guests' taste buds at Christmas eve, it only made us sip more Tignanello. I made them with love, and the love might have altered them into toasty crispy what nots that leaned the party towards the '06 Antinori Cabernet, concluding the overall ambiance to a more friendly one...If there is love in the project, success is always a conclusion. Next dinner party I was invited to help with the cheese plate. And so I turn to C. Wonder for help.
Made with Love  Cheese Board
How will you wine and dine your Valentine?

Tuesday, January 8, 2013

Holidaying Essie

Spirits, gifts, sparkles, and bubbles has me in a long state of hanging. Although my digits may show otherwise, it might be time to break up with glitter. Yes, that's right, after opening endless gifts from Santa and burning sparklers into '13, my nails are still intact and awaiting to resume the party thanks to Essie's "Beyond Cozy." It's funny because I always assume that glitter polishes require endless coats and twice the amunt of dry time, but this wasn't the case with Beyond Cozy. Even the charming nail technitian that helped me out mentioned that this polish was effective in just one coat as when they apply a gel and powdered glitter technique manicure. The lovely salon, which does not carry Essie, but sure might after I brought them in, was in complete surpise of my home brought polish. So here I am, with party hands and little energy to carry them. 
Clock wise: Leading Lady,  She's Pampered,  Snap Happy,  Where's My Chauffeur,  Butler Please,  Beyond Cozy

I trust Essie's blue hues (Butler Please & Where's My Chauffeur) might resume me through the gloomy January...

Monday, January 7, 2013

Resorting Winter

We're going on about thirty six hours of bellow seventy weather and everyone needs to stop freaking the F out. So for christmas eve dinner it was nothing more than appropriate to sport resort seeing as santa clause has always worn sleeveless in our neck of the woods. 
I've discovered the most marvelous of a LBB, little button up blouse, made for muffins tops. No pockets, but flaps, to hover over and masque the thirteen sugar cookies I consumed before santa made it down my chimney, and now, the cookies I must blame for the tiny portions I must snack so I don't snap at everyone I cross through the day. F you new years, no calories...ha.

Fendi blouse, geometric skirt (similar style), sunglasses
What a wonderful timing Karl had for the Fendi woman, it's as if he knew how much we eat during the holidays that he found the perfect geometric inspiration for flattering the recently expanded figure. Don't we all agree graphs have the ability to masque round surfaces? It does so in my case, thank heavens for the Legos' inspired pieces that veer attention away from love-handles and child bearing hips.